love, in other words
Was sifting through old albums of photographs- such a strange feeling to be coming across photographs of when you were only hours old- and consecutive shots of a sleeping baby that look almost the same. Suddenly comes to my mind that I am my mother’s first-born- haha that must have been a crazy feeling. The first time you hold your own baby and it.is. breathing. Hours-old babies are hideous, wrinkly pink things- but as days go by their cheeks grow fuller, their body still soft but more fleshy. Adorable.
Also: pictures of my mum when she was expecting my sister- haha such a big pregnant belly! How on earth do pregnant women move, I truly wonder..
More pictures. The youth, the full crowns of hair the adults in your life had- less wrinkles, more gaiety, more life. Silly pictures of my sister and I, in matching outfits (and when I was actually taller than her, tsk). Pictures of parents when young. Grandparents and aunts and relatives when they were young. Childhood friends, pictures from kindergarten field trips and performances.
And the countless birthday photographs- spot myself and my sister being lovingly showered with cake, presents and kisses from family..and I know that I am lucky, and I am blessed.
The party celebrations hit an ugly snag today and I was pretty upset. Disappointment mixed with sadness- and also a sense of unjust because this.. has happened before. Just let the emotions run out of me and then went to sleep. Sleep is a good restart for my emotions. Got out in a markedly better mood and mostly got over it. Yep. Life goes on. I don’t even blame anyone for this- it’s like.. I only have myself to blame for having expectations. Ah well life has its disappointments and I should be thankful it’s pretty minor compared to all the shit people go through.
Also seeing things from another perspective, it’s more of I should be thankful for all the people who are going to turn up, and that I am truly thankful for the presence.
All it takes is a quick mindset change, and days will look brighter :)
In other news, very happy for my dear friend who has found love, a friend who passed her driving test, and friends who bravely walk on in life in face of obstacles. You guys rock and I’m glad to have you in my life. Reading the hulk chat and missing them. It’s hard not miss everyone when you see them every day and they’re such a big part in your living life.
Time has told, who is to stay and who leaves. Who passes by in a fleeting and who stays rock solid with you.