Havent been in this space for a while- I apologise. Need to pen down my thoughts….->
Realised I spent a lot of time today with people I love. Spent a lot of time laughing my guts off during the human knot game etc. Laughter is such a powerful thing. And when I feel meh-ish or anything, the company from familiar faces are the best. They may not know my life story, but they accept me anyways. Loves <3
YWV today. I’m really glad today went well! Learnt a lot from the mentor training session- I actually have a fear of trying to hang out with secondary school kids- which is why I don’t dare to be camp facils. Primary school kids are okay, but secondary school kids… I’m not so confident that I know how to interact with them. So today was really useful. In the end as long you lose your pride and focus on the relationship everything should be alright.
Bonding session- ended up with very little people but haha it was great fun! I really think they missed out haha. Oh well. Am proud of the team too for adapting quickly to the situation- I like team think and action. Also love the eggs.
Elvis raised two questions->
1. What makes you happy?
2. (I forgot the question oops)
My answer was something like… the world is running on human relationships. And if we are all running on a fuel called love, I would very much like to be good at giving and recieving it.
And the other response was something along the lines of being able to bring happiness to someone else.
AND HAHA! more happy news! Am glad to be going to the msia trekking camp with some of the capt people - I am going to have such bad withdrawal symptoms when I leave school. Will always be in love with the great outdoors.
Have been playing a lot of bball, trying to get my life on track and studying.. and preparing for upcoming performances :)) YOLO-ing it a little because it’s the lasst semester. Can’t believe time flew by so fast.
Was good to also meet people and get my life back a little. Missed my friends. Had a super shiok but spicy hotpot dinz with the Hs- then we went to ruin a couple’s date at a Fort Canning concert by being huge lightbulbs.. and hanging out doing kuku things. Also met up with my dearest Leelee I freeeeeaking missed you so much. And missed the beach too <3 And also met up with the babes for ramen & celebrating Serene’s birthday :)) Loveyall.
I have to start my career search soon though. Aish?
Wonder if I will be able to find a place where I can grow and be happy in. Have been living in places that are so sheltered and full of love- will I be able to transitition back to the sometimes ugly reality? Mmmhms.
Things that energise me- people & music.I did my MBTI again and I’m still the same. ENFP- I guess I feel energised by the people around me. So..I hope I get to do something related then :)
Need to say this again- my friend deserve medals for shit I pull. Thanks for being around, for giving me such a loving space and support when I need it. I try my best but sometimes I fall short of my own expectations. Thanks for loving me anyways.
Lots of stuff have been happening- I’m just glad to say I grew up over the course of these few weeks. Allowed myself to share, be vulnerable, to learn, to grow. To be rational, to be emotional, to see things in different light. To be courageous, to be disciplined, to maintain. To … do my self criticising thing again and sometimes accept myself. Forgive myself (okay I’m not really there yet but yeah) It’s a hurdle I find really, really hard to cross.
Glad it’s over in a sense haha it’s a relief to be released from all the emotional strain. Good to live free.
I hope that wherever I go, and whatever age I am- I can find my roots and stay anchored to the things that I think define myself. That energises me. That builds me. Like reading and music- I hope I never fall out of love of these, even when I fall out of love with various other things or people.
Going to have to bring focus back to my life and strive hard the next few weeks- must work and play hard.
Go hard or go home.