The next part was why 卢广仲 wanted to write this book:
卢广仲 writes very honest, sincere and some may say whimsical songs. I love his songs because you can feel genuine emotions, usually positive ones- as compared to the usual sex, drugs & rock & roll feels from contemporary pop songs.
Looking back I don’t even know how I started to make music. Bought my first guitar in Secondary two- probably wanted to learn it cause Serene (ong) just bought one too. Was interested in Spanish flemenco styles then- my first guitar , Frezzie, is a spanish classical guitar bought from Bras Basah. Went with my mum and my parents sponsored half? of my guitar.
Started learning chords from guitar books-think I started learning from friends like Leelee. At one point I wanted to quit sailing and join the guitar ensemble. Was having a hard time in sailing- physical injuries to the spine honestly really depress me to no end.
In JC we used to bum around during free periods- Tiara and I would go play piano, sometimes Liren brought his guitar to school. Some days Jo, Rach and I will even try to dance ( but mostly just watching Jo do her choreo- I won’t forget Disturbia!) Other days Rach, Huiyi and I will go record Huiyi’s songs in the toilet- where the acoustics are the best. Hahaha. And of course Friday (?) mornings after PE meant like 2-3 hours of basketball before lunch and more classes.
The first song I wrote is ‘A Way Out’. This happened at 2-3am in the theme room one. For some reason the Eggtarts were high and just chillin (after a prac session I think?). I remember Yi-min and I went to microwave the Pop-In-A-Box popcorn that Audz bought me previously. Then we brought it down and a bunch of us were learning drum beats from Darren on the makeshift box. Hahaha. Val was in theme room one studying HAHA.
It was there where I typed down my first lyrics for A Way Out. Quite hilarious:
"Hey girl whatchu looking for, we’re looking for a magic pearl"
The lyrics changed over time but HAHA that was my first song. Improved the rifts and strumming as I grew in guitar playing haha.
This is my journey in performance- with friends & gradually, solo sets as well.
My first public performance was with Jieting & her temple friends. We put together a long national day medley and performed at her temple as well as in a secondary school. Please imagine my pile of frazzled nerves as a first time performer. Want to thank Jieting for being part of the start :)
新加坡佛光山 National Day Performance 2012 National Day medley
National Day Performance Punggol Secondary School 2012 National Day medley
Semester 2 CAPT Formal Dinner 2013 Guest-In-Honour, ex- President SR Nathan What Do You See
JAHOC July 2013 45 min set! includes Kiss Me, Titanium, Viva La Vida, Ye Lai Xiang, Zheng Fu
Open Mic August 2013 Quando Quando Quando x You’re Too Good To Be True
Gold Dusk Dec 2013 Originals + Covers
NVAC Charity Fiesta Lot One Jan 26 2014 Counting Stars, If I Let You Go
CAPT Valentine’s Day L O V E and guitar for Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing
CAPT Open Day 15 March 2014 Guitar and Yong Qi
Vanessa’s 21st Birthday Party Counting Stars, Glad You Came, Mirrors
CAPT Open Mic 20 March 2014 Happy, Death by Sea
OMS Starbucks YIH 20 March 2014 30 min set of originals and covers
CAPT Formal Dinner (Graduation) Seasons of Love
CAPT Migrant Workers Performance
NUS Sports Club Welfare Retreat 17 April 2014 Titanium X Clarity, Hall of Fame, DJ Got Us Falling in Love X Timber, Radioactive X Trouble
As you can see most of my performance opportunities come from CAPT. Am infinitely thankful and amazed that the entire journey started from this place. Thanks to Guitarpella and also Jam City. As a kid I didn’t sing at home- shy maybe. Only sang quietly in my room. When I moved out to CAPT- suddenly I had the freedom to do whatever I want. Make music in an environment free from any pressure.
A very important part of this journey is my supporters. They consist of my friends and family, and sometimes strangers and acquaintances. Am touched and flattered, but I know I have to keep working hard. But meanwhile I’m really touched for friends who make it for my performances, or listen/share my music. Thanks for listening guys. Honoured to have some of your ear time.
Time to find my anchor and go hard in the direction I decide on. No time to lose.
Just came back from ECP !!! Jioed a bunch of people from CAPT. Am super thankful for the sunny weather (previous night’s forecast was thunderstorms over the east) & even more so for the fun company!!
With the pretty flowers :>
We cycled & bladed! Thanks weixuan for this convenient shop at Blk 80. Sadly the rollerblades rental was EXORBITANT!! $10 for the first hour and $7 for every additional hour. Siao liao.. Wenyi decided to rent a bike instead. Ohwellz ><.
Some topics that came up during blading/cycling-> Haha Wenyi mentioned this concept called ‘remembering to forget’- something she learnt about in class! It’s like me blogging- so that I can offload everything and like get on with my life. Place the memories somewhere probably more reliable than my own brain.
Found a tortoise by a patch of grass and they named it Crystal. LOLOL. The two boys transported it back into a pond- holding it in their hands/frisbee while cycling up/down slopes UP THERE HAHA! The amount of judgey faces they had to face while holding the tortoise lolol.
Emo shot of Crystal.
AHAHA. but the real Crystal baked NOMMY CHOCOLATE CHIP CHOCOLATE COOKIES!! I am currently in trusted custody of the entire supply muahahahaha.
Us at the jetty :D Never actually been out there before- a pretty place with a lot happy fishermen and families. Would be perfect if there was an ice cream man!!
Yay to blading :D Been a while since I’ve hit the road in ECP. Got to soak my feet in the sea while waiting too heheh. Passing by NSC also gives me soooo many feels. Meanwhile I still suck at slopes- one slope really made my heart kinda go crazy haha was gripped with fear LOL
We went at it for an hour or two before having lunch at Subway & sugar cane juice yay. Escape into an air-con place ahhaa.
Went to Chomp Chomp for the first time :D Yay to old company- rolled my eyes SOOOOO many times that night HAHA. Yay to yummy food too :D Thanks JT and Ong for the car rides! Went to ong’s current place- LOL deja vu much?!?!?
Unfortunately no group photo but we have a glam #nofilter shot of the belated birthday girl->
I was really amazed by the hugeass cup of sugar cane juice omg.
Love you all xoxo :D
Also met up with LEELEEEEE to celebrate her birthday!!
Hansup ice cream with our triple scoop of sea salt caramel, green tea & belgian chocolate. NOMZ!! This is at Ice Cream Gallery anyways.
Also had fries at Smith’s :D Had lots of fun catching up :) Really cool to hear about Leelee’s workplace and sharing silly things and cute instagram animals. Hahaha. And of course playing with filters and shit like that :D
Went home and just about finished Great Expectations by Charles Dickens- a book I have been reading over several weekends. Liked the twists at the end- it gradually became more exciting!
Also read A Thousand Acres - won a Pulitzer prize. Maybe it’s the subject matter but I’m not very impressed. *shrugs* Ah well. 23/100 :) Lezzgo!!
More pictures from earlier on the week-> me and cha at our movie date :D ie. the gongcha boy day
^ Me at my first paid gig. Thanks ONG :DDD <3
It was fun but I got moved from 2nd slot to third because I didn’t need an amp- waiting around makes me S-U-P-E-R nervous. Ended up being painfully shy though yes I delivered the songs. AGHHH LOL
The crowd was quite nice, though really testing their patience haha so many acts while they eat. I guess I’m a cafe singer- with the genre that I sing. Will upz my guitar skill !!! And.. hope to come back strong after a hiatus- with a public gig possibly? :D We’ll see after my graduation and overseas trips!
Ending this post with a legit picture of my EAR.
You have no idea how hard it is to take a selfie of your ear.
Was discussing Jesus Camp, our sociology module video with Boon & was invited to his church for Good Friday! As a kpo sociologist I was interested to go because his was a conservative church- I have only been to a charismatic one a few years ago- I wanted to see how it was different!
My first experience years ago- the service was very centred on youth , the church was young, the pastor was a female. In many ways it was a modern pentecostal church. Left the church with a bad taste however- things were getting pretty aggressive- I think my friend expected me to convert at the end- but I couldn’t follow and read the words on the card about accepting Jesus. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t willing either- entering a religion means a lot to me and I am not just gonna do it like that- such a haphazard decision. Nope.
So this time- take away the lights, the glitz and the youth- and take away all the pressure. Boon knows I’m kinda there to observe- I don’t feel any pressure whatsoever. Firstly wanna thank Boon for the invite :)
Woke up early on Good Friday- travelled all the way to AMK! But I had the feeling everything was gonna be fine. And so it was. I am glad to have went.
Boon was very patient and explained stuff - but while we entered the compound I said stuff like ‘Soci mode on’ hahaha. It’s fun when sociologists get together and over-analyse everything haha. Job hazard.
Boon’s church - more families, Methodist, and it was the first time I actually sat on a pew! The church building is quite new- Boon explained that it underwent renovation and stuff and their services used to be held in AMK cinema theatres. Haha.
So there was praise/worship (singing, basically. I forgot the correct term lols), led by a couple of people on stage. The lyrics were flashed on the two projector screens- the melodies not very hard to follow. The best part of these sessions- I can see people enjoying it and having their hands and palms outwards & outstretched. I felt a presence - not sure if because of the music or what but yeah.
But then I also know I am actively resisting it. More on that later.
There was a lady dancing it out in front of us. I spot an Indian couple and also several old people. The choir, part of the traditional service (this was a conservative one) - was dressed neatly in white and black- the funny thing is that when they sang- it had a distinct Singaporean sound to it. Lolol. Like maybe watch too much TV- the church choirs I am used to hearing are concocted of very strong, and usually black voices, Haha.
Awkward moment when the pastor said ’ If this is your first time here, please raise your hand’. Hello, no. I shy, didn’t raise but BOON THE TRAITOR!!! raised his hand and I received a gift from their church. Wah I was so paiseh haha. People start to shake your hand to welcome you. Hahah. Boon says this is his favourite part of bringing people to church. Hahah.
(Anyway the gift is a recipe book compiled by the members of the church, yumyum! Together with a book stand. Thank you !!)
Then the sermon- “Who killed Jesus?”
I found the sermon easy to follow and understand. My previous experience- I think it was targeted at youth and sometimes maybe I’m too old for the category of ‘youth’ (secondary school?) and I didn’t take much away. Will briefly share about what this pastor said here->
First we went through some verses- in Mark (dunno which number, haha.) Boon helped me find the pages in the Bible- lol so noobz. Basically it’s where this priest and a bunch of people accuse Jesus and the events that follow up to the actual crucifixion.
So the pastor split who killed Jesus into 4 categories- the Priest (Caiphus?) , the soldiers, the crowd and Judas.
I like how the pastor shared about his own struggle with pride - like how being invited to other churches for sermons sometimes makes him reflect on why he is happy to receive the invite- is it because he genuinely wants to spread God’s word, or is it because he wants to build a reputation for himself? It’s so not easy admitting things like that to a whole hall of people- people who look up to you as a leader and also respect you. Woahh.
Basically he went through each category- and how we sometimes find qualities like pride, ignorance etc manifesting in our own actions.
Then we ended off with an emo video and it was time to sing again. Lots of handshaking at the door where everybody leaves for the free buffet (I didn’t go, too crowded!!) Boon said he was not used to the church being so full of people. A couple of CAPT people were there- also invited for the GF service. Haha.
Lots to think about- ie. my resistance. I think it has something to do with me and how I can’t receive love properly. Like I know if only I accept and open my heart, surrender myself maybe, I too can bask in what they call God’s love. But even though I feel the presence, know what I can receive, I just can’t seem to do it. Maybe I like living and wallowing in my own suffering. *shrugs*
Either way, it was nice to be in the presence, and nice to know someone else’s god. I can see how people are recharged by weekly services-how you can walk out of church feeling more refreshed, and being reminded and ‘directed’ by a sermon- things to apply to your life. And to find a like-minded community as well. (Seems like a bubble community though- like once you step outside it’s back in the real world- while inside everybody is nice and have the same goals- to glorify God etc. Can understand why people want to just hang out with their church friends etc. Actually this is a really sore point for me cause after that my first service friend kinda stopped talking to me- makes me question whether I am not worthy to be a friend just because I do not have the same faith as you. Happened again in a separate event with a different person- makes you wonder really when people say things like oh we love everybody. Hmm. Food for thought.)
I saw many families and their children- amazing how the whole family can have the same faith together.
Overall I found the service pleasant and am thankful to have a chance to see what service is like! I can see how it is useful for people- to recharge, reorganise your thoughts and life, and for people to connect with each other. A community that is strong.
I’ll end here :) Path of finding my religion will continue, albeit slowly.
Watching Divergent was also interesting - there was a fear simulation test and you were supposed to face your fears and get through the simulation. Tris was fearless- but most of us mere mortals will have our own fears as well.
Some of my fears are trivial. Like I’m afraid (or more like, grossed out) by lizards. Especially fat ones. Don’t really like frogs either. But I’m okay with cockroaches- like I won’t panic and die when I meet insects.
Some of my fears are more deep-seated. I worry about not being good enough. Not being adequate. Not being loving enough, not being the best I can be. Not being kind enough. The part where there was a glass wall between Tris and her friends was something I could relate to- social acceptance was something I encountered earlier when I was in Secondary Three especially.
Nowadays I care less about it- being bochup about people’s opinions means I live a less stress free life- I don’t need to pander to anyone’s whims just because I feel like I want your acceptance and I want you to like me. I come as I am and if you cannot take it, too bad lor..
Of course, being loved and being reminded it by friends through gestures and gifts is always a nice thing. The little insecure goblin in me will be temporarily be locked away because he is satisfied and happy.
I’m not sure.
I have one fear- of being misunderstood. Sometimes I am apprehensive about showing love to people I care about- in Chinese culture for family it might get a little bit embarrassing. For friends I hardly know as well but still like- sometimes I wonder if they think I’m trying too hard. But honestly I don’t really need much from you- just want to make you happy. You and I have our own tight circle of emotional supports and pillars- why I give to you is not because I want to be part of your circle or be your best friend- I just like you and think you’re a cool person, and I want you to know that! When people reject this I’m just like.. okay hold your horses bitches. Not like I’m in love with you so you can chill the hell out.
Fear of trying things ? I tend not to fear that much because I view failure differently- I mean like socially it might be uncool to fail so many times- kind of reflects your inability- but as Tumblr quotes strengthen me, failure, to me, means that I am one step closer to success than yesterday.
Came across a book in Kinokuniya about artists and how you can put your work out there. You can post in bite-sized information- you can share your process, thoughts, inspiration. But you should live out your work every day. Breathe and live with it.
I hope in life to find something so worthy and challenging to do. I want to pour myself in and love what I do. Maybe that’s my quest right now- to find the ‘calling’. For a while I thought it was HeartMagazine. I’m not even sure why that lost momentum, but what I gained was an incredible experience of passion and just losing yourself to a bigger cause other than yourself.
Things I loved about HeartMagazine:
The chance to showcase the work, talent, personalities of my amazing friends- through photographs, interviews and reviews. I like that I can curate and play the site to show off their strengths, I am proud of them and I want others to get to know their awesomeness. Sometimes I feel happiest when I can tell other people about the amazing people I meet and are friends with. But then when you look back at it- when you reflect it and direct it back internally- I have issues with expectations. I always try to break moulds and undue high expectations of people’s views of me- I hate to like.. not meet your expectations in a sense. I don’t really want to disappoint you- I’m not as talented or like a saint as you may think I am. But to me, when I see the goodness of others, I want to share it- maybe they have the same insecurity issues (or maybe cause we’re all brought up in the Asian ‘humility’-based environment, or maybe it’s just me.
In the same vein, it was something that let people be happy for me. Like maybe they’re like my friend is cool - you have something cool to tell your friend. In a sense I like that it’s my way of giving as well? Or receiving. Not too sure about direction. However please note I do not create HEARTM just cause I wanted to be cool -__-” . If you’re in my blogspace you should understand by now that being cool is an inherent thing for me. (hahahaha.) (I kid.) (you not.)
Moving away from HeartM,
again something I need to address is my outlook- in my blog I’m always about me me me oh my feelings me me me. Need to take a huge step and look outside of my ego- be more external looking perhaps? But then again maybe my extroversion is concentrated in my encounters in people, and my blog is where I practise all my inner reflections and thought processes. So there. Maybe here is where you may perceive me as being a really egoistic/narcissistic person. Well, I do not deny it.
I’ll end the tirade of thoughts here today! Time to catch up on some sleep.
another topic that cropped up in the course of the night:
I like to read horoscopes, personality test results etc- I often get results like “adventurer” and things on the YOLO side. Being an ENFP and Saggitaurus, my results usually look quite pleasant to me and I sometimes use them as ego boosters when I feel like shit or need to feel more secure.
In A New Awakening we learnt about separating the ego and the self. So you shed identities and keep them separate from your self- because your identities do not mean your true self. I used to hold on to many handles and hats- I liked to be identified as a sailor, a Dunmanian, a Homanite- titles and identifiers. Maybe these gave me a sense of security that I belonged somewhere.
I’m currently still in the stage of negotiating my self.
I’m not very sure about my direction in life- my thoughts and decisions fluctuate quite a lot. Sometimes I think I want to go into graphic design, sometimes I want to pour myself into music making. Don’t know if it’s just me making life difficult for myself when I can live simply and just not have such a grand big scheme for myself that I can chase to achieve.
So maybe the idea now is to stop reading so much personality test results and really get to know myself better. I always avoid the workshop Linghong and Wenxin recommends so much- the one on SEL- because I am scared as hell on what I will find. What if my core is not something I think it is? And honestly can any test really ascertain who I really am?
Kind of in an identity crisis and still figuring things out.
Have been talking with Joseph, Stella & Boon on the subject of religion and I want to write it down before my memory starts to fail me again.
We are given choice on whether to love God or not.
Obedience cannot be obedience if there is no alternative path- nothing to disobey.
To love and follow him would be better for us when we live life according to his ‘rules’.
The Jews are God’s people- but when Jesus came he emphasised more on the heart rather than rituals- for eg. he hung out with ‘sinners’ like lepers- people who were hard to love.
Easy love vs Hard love
In some sense Christians are never perfect and that is why they will always need God.
Sin is the absence of love of God. So God did not create evil…?
Catholics give more emphasis to Mary- ie. she is also a way to reach Jesus
There are a couple of Marys in the bible (lol damn.)
Suffering etc are ways in which God lets you learn how to love…more about process. God never promised a perfect life for humans.
God does everything with a purpose- look in the grand scheme of things.
Having peace in your mind is not about absence of troubles, but rather peace in spite of troubles. Something like the quote on courage-courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the triumph over it.
As you can see I asked a wholeeeee bunch of questions, mostly over breakfast with Stella this morning. Thanks for your patience and also for waking me up. Haha :D
My question: Why does God even give a shit? I mean like he’s almighty after all, why would he care about trivial human affairs? Some speculation; maybe there are other universes and different Gods gain more strength through amassing followers (lol). I mean like Greek gods gain more influence and power when more followers sacrifce and pray to them - look at all the dedicated temples etc.
And if God is the almighty, will he not be bored? Since there is no one on the same level of his power- isn’t a little lonely? And since everything he creates will just be another aspect of himself. So maybe he created humans to interact with them?
Hahhaa. Just some wild guesses. Am going to a church service this Good Friday just to check out what a conservative church is like! Kpo life. Will update this space so stay tuned~~
Recently printed a couple of scores- was just playing this in the flying seed and it is emo as hell D:
DIVERGENT: This isn’t real. Caught the movie with Chanel, yay for my movie buddy <3 Finally had my gongcha fix- oolong milk tea (the other Chanel’s recc which is now my default drink, lol) + pudding! Embarrassing thing was that I literally walked into a guy (or we walked into each other. (’s lives. LOL) and spilt milk tea on him zomg. Was amazingly calm though I just reached into my bag to get tissue lulz. And he was really smiley and nice about it so in my mind he is registered as a cute guy. LOL. Walking away I felt it was really like a korean drama and … finally felt damn embarrassed 恥ずかしいね～～. Spent the day avoiding grey shirt boys haha.
Had nomnom my favourite Croquette burger from MOS while ahniao had the subway wrap!! The movie was pretty good- but haha I think I’m getting used to dystopian stuff- gets a little stale though they still have interesting concepts that they milk for all they’ve got. Like the Dauntless are the badass cool people- parkour and black outfits, rebels and the like. Then you have people like Tris, the protagonist, who is a Divergent (one who doesn’t fit the mould.) Well nobody wants to be a zombie so being unique is great. But what happens like when everybody wants to be unique? Then nobody is truly unique anymore no?
Also finally pierced my ear- now I have 3 ear piercings in total. Walked around Far East looking for a decent shop- the first two I spied gave me the willies - they did tattoos too. Was leaving the building when I finally re-entered B1 and got it done in X-craft haha. Had two auntie ladies whom I was more comfortable with, compared to the bunch of tattooed guys D: in a small shop. *awkward*. Only cost me $5 :) Florence was playing during the piercing so I guess that was cool. Went to Ion and shamelessly took a selfie of my ear. Which is harder than it seems- you should try it. Hahah.
Also went to Kino to get some supplies, thanks to Eve’s birthday vouchers :))
Had an emotional night the other day as well-was feeling so troubled and emotionally upset. But now I completely isolated and trivialised it, not fair to hit me when I’m down. Over the past few days, I also got some work done! Also made paper cats for friends and caught up on some reading- finished Catcher in the Rye and am currently reading A Thousand Acres- something I found in school.
Gonna have my last classes today of the semester and my graduate year. Am kinda meh about it though- borrrring.
Might really get to see and touch horses soon, thanks to RDA and Bao!! :DDD Can’t wait.
Meanwhile some groups are falling apart but what to do? Groups are fluid, they are living organisms. We morph according to circumstances.
Am watching my Sociology Religion video, Jesus Camp- and am reminded about a few things. Gonna share a couple of thoughts.
"You’re not going to be the same person you were today".
Camps are amazing things and places for you to transform yourself. In more sociology terms, they provide a space for you to change- the idea of the liiminal. Break down your original identity, enter the liminal, form a communitas, and come out as a new person. Reborn.
I personally like camps. I love outdoor camps, I love that we spend time in camp groups, get to know each other better, soak in the company for a good 2-5 days in a foreign place where we are removed from our comfort zones. From our usual social spaces, our family, our schools. I like how social ‘classes’ and barriers are broken down- people make unlikely friends when given the chance (or maybe when forced to) to mix and hang out with each other. That’s why people leave camps with mixed feelings- glad to leave the grime perhaps, but happy and sad at the same time to have made new friends-yet to return to the old world- will these friendships last?
I am fortunate and blessed to have the chance to join many adventure camps and level camps that my schools have organised- am thankful to roll around in mud, white water raft, and things like that. Haha. I know not every school organises camps- especially not overseas ones so I am thankful and grateful for the chances I’ve got. I am also thankful for my friend Yilin who reverse- psycho-talked me to join Arts Camp. Thankful to join an active house and fun orientation group. Thankful for the chance to lead the OG in O-week. Thankful to have been the vice team manager so I could attend the NUS sports leadership camp for free and get to participate in so many fun activities and meet lots of aiseh sports people in NUS, and learn about their training & team spirit techniques and things like that.
Thankful for all the camps I have gone- they have shaped me and made me into who I am today. In awe of amazing facilitators who inspired me to be a facil as well- did a few clean camps (clean meaning non-muddy and non-outdoor, lol) with Yuting for a few years running (for a free shirt, that was my excuse, lol.). And also JC years etc. Never regretted being in camps, though in Uni I slowly got really tired from the politics as well.
Camps break you down. Make you look ugly, unglam, challenge yourself to do crazy cheers, dance on the streets, talk to strangers, speed friendmaking, HTHT with almost strangers, roll in the mud, carry each other in games, eat together, play gross games… all in the name of fun.
Wow and I almost forgot about secondary SJAB camps. Every. Camp. makes you a better (?) squadmate and leader. A better cadet. A better instructor. Shit man the crazy stuff we went through. JNCO really broke me down physically and emotionally- I was so scarred haha. Hyperventilated and lost control completely, couldn’t move and do anything but bawl and bawl and bawl until I finally calmed down. First time kinda fainting and stuff- haha the stresses of being an IC. I think I disappointed many seniors haha for not stepping up to the test. But I’m sorry- you think I’m a dark horse but most of the time if I can’t do it, I can’t deliver. I’m sorry for failing your expectations I guess.
Am really excited for the CAPT FOC camp coming up, though I have no part in it- am excited for my juniors who will be programming and running the camp, leading a new bunch of freshies. I hope you guys make the most amazing memories ever , because I hold my memories close to my heart and hope yours will be warm and fuzzy as well.
A little recap of the weekend and what I can remember of it-
ICE CREAM NIGHT!! - Walked to Shengsiong cause we’re cheap like that. Got the Hershey Double Dutch tub (marshmallows, chocolate chips and brownie bits, plus assorted nuts) and shockingly we finished it over the Hobbit 2. Hahaha didn’t know where the time went, but it was fun ^.^
BBALL MORNZ! Was so stoned in the morning- not sure if stamina went down because I didn’t sleep enough or cause of the food poisoning bout or because I was plain old lazy. Not sure what I want out of basketball now- hit another plateau maybe. Maybe I need to read more SLAM DUNK!! or Kuroko to get back things going again.
HORSE RIDING!! I really want to learn horse riding!! And get up close to pretty horses. Not too sure what brought this on- maybe watching Hobbit or something haha. Wanderlust *_*
GERMAN ! Am actually kinda getting worried that I will not be able to graduate if I fail this module so badly and not get the MCs. A little bit too late for regrets now that I’ve already sat for the last semester test I guess. Uh oh…On the other hand, borrowed Edwin’s Minna ninhongo textbook and god do I miss Japanese or what!!!
GREY LENSES! Tried on one of five pairs of the grey Freshkon trial lenses! Nobody really notices it until like I stare at them and tell them about it. HAHAAH
CATCHER IN THE RYE- my current book! Finally hit the 20 book mark after reading this mystery thriller (not very thrilling though) - ‘A for Alibi’. Also hit the jackpot in the school library- A Tale for the Time Being (Ruth Ozeki)- something I read about in the Straits Times some time ago. Also finished my latest edition of Nat Geog- learnt about Bluefin tuna, black holes and nectar bats! Me likes all the nature stuff, not so much about the complex humanitarian crises covered what with all the bombings and oppression.
YOUTH WITH VISION!- Ended our last session on Saturday. Earlier on in the week the clouds carried out the various mirroring projects- and to my surprise received a few notes though I didn’t write nothing for nobody D: Ohmy haha so touched and grateful ! Am just kinda shocked cause like.. I really wasn’t expecting anything especially from my guy neighbours from upstairs. Thanks guys! It has been a really fun semester to finally get to know you guys too. Just a pity that it’s a pretty short time ohwells.
Saturday’s morning session- the weather was brillant- breezy with rain. Such perfect weather to sleep in! Woke up feeling quite refreshed despite hanging out late with JKC (lol I’m so lazy they become so abbreviated lol) eating a lot of junk (mostly me). Calbee chips, chocolate milk & Sara Lee pound cake LOL. And playing streetfighter and Stickman hahaha. Morning was spent like troubleshooting- ran into the kink that the pizza places didn’t open till like 1030 or 11am, and delivery ran even later! Am proud of myself this moment for staying dafuq calm and just troubleshooting with Jaryl & Ximeng. We figured things out together and finally got it solved with the school’s Sarpino! Wrote a thankyou note to the friendly staff who rushed out our order of 10 pizzas at such short notice. This is what I like about team work I guess!!
Also Elvis and Vanessa surprised the committee with certificates! Was totally not expecting it haha sneaky sneaky eh! But so touched. Thanks :’)
Am very grateful to have a fun team to work with, and the awesome mentors and mentees. Am totally gonna miss everybody though I didn’t even get my own mentee. BUT ALL SO CUTE OMG.
thanks Vivi for the photos :)
Had dinz with Linghong & Oli one night too! Nomnom otah fishcake. Loves so much. Love you too :> Was so tired I konked out on one of the lounge sofas.
Was hanging out in 15 lounge studying or something too- my room is now too much of a distraction what with all the instruments around. Got to know Sove better in the course of the afternoon :D The 15 girls are sweet but lol just the other afternoon I found an UNKNOWN in the toilet o_o Like who are you and … you stay here? On this floor? And I thought I knew everyone on my wing already. o_o”
Tried to record a song with Janan the other afternoon but haha it proved impossible LOL we do not really work well together- my impatience and his indecisiveness and basically our lack of persistence LOL. Ohwell haha cuz HIS VOICE IS NICE! Ohwell haha the window of opportunity to record together has passed lol I told him I give up HAHA
Also I just wanted to mention like how the universe is so awesome. Yknow the quote “when you want something, the universe conspires to help you?” This is how I feel quite often nowadays. Today I wanted to buy my mama flowers and after tuition just nice the flower stall opened. Like it totally doesn’t open every Sunday so I guess I’m lucky enough!!! And the whole pizza for YWV thing- during the 1 minute reflection I’m just like praying and begging for things to smoothen themselves out haha. And it did! So thankful. More things like that happened- like when I worry about something, and the next day , hey presto! Emails come into my inbox addressing the problem, like magic. Amazing. Or like when I am just about to leave the house and Dorisa texts about violin jamming. It all aligns so nicely haha. Or I have like really selective memory and only remember all the good stuff that happens maybe. Haha.
Thank you to Carey my sweet neighbour! Found two pretty music related gold clips ( a guitar and a mic) on my door the other day. Am very touched haha because I always feel guilty for making so much noise as a neighbour. Arigatou <3
Thank you to my stomach who has been patient with me and literally stomaching all the stuff I eat- fried things, chocolate, late night suppers and all- thanks for not giving up on me and making me heave-ho all over the place again. Appreciate that very much.
Thanks to all my CAPT buddies haha you guys are da bomb.
Thanks Dorisa woohoo for jamming violin & the absolutely delicious mango popsicle yesterday :DD
Thanks to Joseph Ken and Crystal for putting up with my nonsense in the middle of the night haha. And yay for tom-yum instant noodles and thanks Joseph for helping to dabao lunch today yeyz.
Thank you Bryan for the awesome magic fingers HAHA . Can finally feel my blood circulating haha.
Thank you CC also for being a patient friend :>
And Stella for your godsaving Hershey chocolate :)
And Sarah and Elisa for being patient friends too. Thanks yall :3
Thanks ahniao for the trial Freshkon lenses!! Am trying Magnetic Grey now HAHA
Daydreams full of adventure, perhaps involving travel, could take up a lot of your time today, Sagittarius. You’re probably bored with your situation and longing to do something to break your routine. You might have no idea how you can escape from everything right now. Don’t force it. Spend the afternoon in a place you don’t usually visit. You’ll come up with a workable idea in due time. Go for it!
So restless and bored. The calm before a storm.
Completed my first Coursera course today! Am proud :)
Not so proud about my German results- but so glad to be back rolling tongues in Japanese.
God help me because I’m lost as hell.
I know I’m perpetuating the hurt and the past but I just stubbornly do not want to move on. I’m not the best at leaving painful situations. I might even thrive on sadness and darker feelings like this. One half of me needs it.
Sounds like another existential crisis. 我到底又在这里做什么