Monday- was busy doing work and all- brain was fried and I was so tired from the insomnia and day activities that I was zoning out during training. Which is good because my mind only focuses on that. That and the addictive song Rude.
Funny how I joined softball just 2-3 years ago when I first entered NUS. Wednesdays and Saturdays were days I blocked off for these years. My seniors were patient with me and taught me all they knew. They encouraged me, yelled at me, - everything to help me improve. Sometimes I felt like shit but at the end of the day I know that it will all be worth it.
Went to watch my first game in Kallang, can’t remember if I was on the field or the bench but it was sooooo awesome. My favourite diamond is the open one- I liked the space.
Some softball milestones & memories in my life:
1. First training- touched base with Eriks who was the manager then- got hit on the mouth during training by Suyee, my lips bled. But I came back again.
2. Started to learn batting from many many people, Fadz changed my batting stance from righty to lefty. So I field right and bat left now. When I get ready to bat, the fielders will be like ‘lefty!’. Hopefully one day I’ll be strong enough to make them go “stand back!” Hahaha.
3. The day Li en adjusted my hips during training and I found new power in throwing- needed that so much to do outfield better.
4. Outfield training/pedalling in Chiangmai by Liping.
5. Zesa’s hiong fielding trainings- thats what the previous training reminded me of- the consecutive fielding. Not scared or even resentful for it, I just want to improve. Sengwei’s sliding practice.
6. Encouragement on the field. The feeling of security with Suyee as 1, Eriks on 2. Me on right, Li en as center.
7. My first game as an outfielder, my first run home. My jersey, my cap, my slacks. My first football shoes. My first glove. My many batting gloves that are actually golf gloves. Haha. Long socks.
8. Jamming my thumb when throwing with Yawen, end up skipping training for a while.
9. Witnessing home-runs by SJ and Yawen
10. My favourite blue Catalyst bat.
11. Fking up in outfield and catching flies during matches. Being so frustrated and relieved.
12. Sixian’s words of encouragement and guidance all the way. :’)
Grew to love softball, grew to love batting, fielding, outfield, sometimes infield, sprinting, running, training. Love my team mates, love my field, the gorgeous night sky, picking balls from the drains.
Love very much.
I think I’ve grown a lot all around. Mentally, physically, experience wise. Not perfect but definitely someone better than the clumsy freshman who could not throw far, had awful fielding, had fears of being hit during long hits, shirking training feels etc.
Just feel many loves. <3 I just want to try harder.
Haven’t been resting well lately. I get really tired from the day’ activities like training and going outdoors but when I go home, somehow I can’t fall asleep. 5am, 3am- and I still struggle to fall asleep. I’m really exhausted and my body wants to rest. But when I close my eyes I see flashes of light- probably ‘brain activity’?!
This is a real pain in the ass because I really like sleeping and it’s really affecting my mood and energy levels. So tired !!!!
Possible causes- stress again maybe. This is what happens when I am unrestricted to do anything. I cram myself with with goals and projects - and then I feel mega stressed out because I wanna complete them.
Maybe I should really learn that I’m no superwoman and cut it all down. Biting off more than I can chew.
Okay so I finally recorded a video of me doing a mash-up I arranged a while ago. LOL. My previous attempts pretty much failed- so I just took a leaf out of Gabe Bondoc’s music videos- do like one take. Stop being perfectionist and shit cause REAL ARTISTS SHIP.
Yeah so lol I uploaded it even with the me going off a little bit hahahaha. Ah well :)
Hopefully will take this more seriously and make more music for everybody <3
Aiming for a live gig though!! :)Thanks for all your support friends and skyedivers ;) And for liking/sharing/commenting my video!! Shared it for the first time on FB and I am quite surprised hahaha damn sweet everybody. <3
Thank you. I hearts.
Aud: You smiled at me right after I clicked the ‘Like’ button!!!
Weixuan (after sharing my vid on FB): Say first my endorsement might not be very effective. It’s me endorsing after all LOL
HAHAHAHAHAHA friends you damn funny !!!
Haha FB is pretty amazing. Have been receiving surprising messages of encouragement, thank you all. xoxo
“To all who come to this happy place: Welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here, age relives fond memories of the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America, with the hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world.”
Spent my time giggling at silly things- just so many references and feelings I can identify with. A Sylvia Plath reference? Hahahaha how did you even sneak that in really. The ballet scene. Lulz. The band. The prodigy violinist. Hahahahhaha.
An endearing movie- could be better but I think we’re too spoilt by blockbusters. Enjoyed it though :) Music movies :’) Just very relatable. Didn’t like some of the song choices but yes. Damn it I can hear arrangements without being drunk. Hope to create new material for my future gig :)
To dream that you are at the dentist suggests that you are having some doubt over the sincerity and honor of some person in your life. You are experiencing some momentary anxiety or pain, but you will be a better and stronger person for it in the long run.
Well… there was also some battle going on in my dream. A claustrophobic room. Dubious characters in my ‘team’. Fighting for survival. Getting lost in Japan Disneyland. Being late for an appointment. Disappointing people. Getting caught. A familiar face but now cooler- you have an ear stud now! Haha. I missed you. Think you’re the only reason this dream didn’t turn into a full fledged nightmare.
//just an ordinary, dispensable human in your world
wrote a half song on the bus back home- kinda emotionally drained now.
this song is kinda raw and vulnerable for me and I won’t be developing it cause it kinda pains me when I sing it. But for now it helps me express everything and helps me to heal I guess. Sent it to a few friends, don’t intend to share it anymore, but you can always drop a line if you would like to hear it. Thanks for staying with me, I know I’m hard to understand sometimes.
“The novelist Chaim Potok recalls being urged by his mother to forgo writing: “Be a brain surgeon. You’ll keep a lot of people from dying; you’ll make a lot more money.” Potok’s response: “Mama, I don’t want to keep people from dying; I want to show them how to live””—
Relistening to Fancy and I realised that I like Charli XCX, not Iggy. LOL!!
Was so excited when Charli’s Boom Clap played during Fault in Our Stars!! Never heard the song before but her voice is distinct enough. So awesome to identify singers from just their voices. Satisfaction max. Keke.
/edit: Hmmmmmmm not very impressed by their live perfs though
/edit2: Charli reminds me a of a younger/pop version Lorde. (like Lorde isn’t already young enough)