nothing else compares to the warmth of a hug and the love of friendship and family.

<3

don’t go pinning your hopes onto me

I’m sure I will never be what you think I am

I never promised to be anything but me, and I hope you understand that

Well while i’m at it I might as well continue.

All this time I’ve been used to giving. I give because I like to, and because it seems to help people have a brighter and nicer day. Because it brings warmth. (It also makes me feel better to give out love)

When attention is brought back to myself, it’s actually very destructive because I don’t really know how to cope with it. I start having dark thoughts, and when I get dependent or expectant of people, I start becoming insecure. So the model of me loving and giving independently is a more stable person for me to be.

Stella’s blogpost about debt and love- basically you don’t want to help someone out so much because they will feel indebted to you. In that case maybe I have just been selfish. Maybe I have been smothering friends with ‘care’ or ‘concern’ when all it does is make them feel bad especially if they don’t reciprocate…? (Not like I’m going to stop..?)

But the thing is I really don’t need you to reciprocate (or fine, I just don’t know how  to receive love huh).

We truly accept the love we think we deserve then.

Is this why we love people who will not love us back and reject those who actually give a shit?