three times tingles

begin again

/SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Spent my time giggling at silly things- just so many references and feelings I can identify with. A Sylvia Plath reference? Hahahaha how did you even sneak that in really. The ballet scene. Lulz. The band. The prodigy violinist. Hahahahhaha. 

An endearing movie- could be better but I think we’re too spoilt by blockbusters. Enjoyed it though :) Music movies :’) Just very relatable. Didn’t like some of the song choices but yes. Damn it I can hear arrangements without being drunk. Hope to create new material for my future gig :)

#blogpost    #begin again    

/accurate

Dentist

To dream that you are at the dentist suggests that you are having some doubt over the sincerity and honor of some person in your life. You are experiencing some momentary anxiety or pain, but you will be a better and stronger person for it in the long run.

Well… there was also some battle going on in my dream. A claustrophobic room. Dubious characters in my ‘team’. Fighting for survival. Getting lost in Japan Disneyland. Being late for an appointment. Disappointing people. Getting caught. A familiar face but now cooler- you have an ear stud now!  Haha. I missed you. Think you’re the only reason this dream didn’t turn into a full fledged nightmare.

#blogpost    

//just an ordinary, dispensable human in your world

wrote a half song on the bus back home- kinda emotionally drained now.

this song is kinda raw and vulnerable for me and I won’t be developing it cause it kinda pains me when I sing it. But for now it helps me express everything and helps me to heal I guess. Sent it to a few friends, don’t intend to share it anymore, but you can always drop a line if you would like to hear it. Thanks for staying with me, I know I’m hard to understand sometimes.

#blogpost    
#blogpost    #quote    

soooo

Relistening to Fancy and I realised that I like Charli XCX, not Iggy. LOL!!

Was so excited when Charli’s Boom Clap played during Fault in Our Stars!! Never heard the song before but her voice is distinct enough.  So awesome to identify singers from just their voices. Satisfaction max. Keke.

/edit: Hmmmmmmm not very impressed by their live perfs though

/edit2: Charli reminds me a of a younger/pop version Lorde. (like Lorde isn’t already young enough)

#blogpost    

got no time for feelin’ sorry

^ paramore

Alrighty let’s see. Woke up this morning feeling extremely drained, achey and pangseh-ed, and hence very cranky. Spent the morning making my LinkedIn Account!  Decided to go for a fun angle since I’m not aiming to work for a straight-laced company anyway. 

Finished another book, called Likeonomics. Makes a good point about the human likeability factor and relationships in today’s world. 

The rest of this post shall be devoted to softball reflections, haha.

Well… so yesterday I was feeling up for it so I ran extra two rounds around the field, before actual training started. So I did a total of four! Hahah! Big leap from a few weeks ago where I was panting and mostly dying. Shall keep it up and gun for better speed and stamina though. HWAITING!

Then throwing, new complex pattern throwing drill by coach- haha I realised it takes some time for me to absorb information. Or at least things that require muscle memory and some kinda planning/coordination. We had enough to play a slow pitch game so we did! Haha was fun! Was put into third base though ohmy. Kinda suicidal since my usual position is outfield and right. The sudden role reversal of being left and infield made me unable to function haha. Mental breakdown. All this nonsense about ‘being flexible’ and ‘adapt to new environments quickly’. Ah naw, I’m not the best candidate. It is true- those who know flexibility - also know everything. Ie. you can only work around the rules when you actually know the rules.

Made stupid errors and sometimes yes didn’t give it my all because there were people covering my ass. Got scolded kinda but the worst thing in team sports is the guilt that you didn’t do enough. Morale was really down. Errors can really kill people mentally and beat the entire team down.  But yeah all through it I was like ’ don’t give the hell up”. So yep. Softball really challenges me to step up and grow. I need to learn my shit and stay calm.

Trainings end really late nowadays. Got a lift back home though yay! Thanks to Josh and some self-inviting nonsense.  I really need to start remembering the names of the guys team and not be such a bitch :/ Sorry new team mates your original destination became displaced haha!! 

End of softball post.

Other thoughts after reading the book, and other observations along the way:

  • I have really thoughtful and kind friends. I haven’t even found my bearings and already he gives a suggestion on how I can go home. *_* Thank you my brain was not functioning. 
  • Treat people the way you want to be treated.
  • Try not to hurt people if you can help it…
  • And always ask how you can help! Help if you can help it!
  • Impatience is my flaw and strength. /shrugs I am unapologetic.
  • Say no. Your energy is limited. Make full use of it.
  • Toxic people: drop ‘em like they’re hot
#blogpost    

WHEEE

Starting on my third Coursera quiz today: Social Psychology. Am pretty excited because I never got to do this in NUS haha. I completed 3 weeks of my drugs course so far, didn’t start on the business one with Futurelearn because I couldn’t cope (and honestly also because I’m a Coursera bitch). 

So far this lecturer is very much like Charles Carroll- bald, but super passionate about his subject and interested to engage you in the course material. Also includes like videos of the notorious Stanford Prison experiment which I have always read about but never got to watch. AIEEE I miss school days already :) I am part nerd part geek (geekerd, lol). But truth be told I think most nerds nowadays aren’t very socially inept. Especially when they have forces like social media and multiple blogging tools backing them up.

Spent the morning working on my resume and portfolio. YOSH! Big thanks to Yilin for your help :) 

Aight Imma scoot, have a fab week yall <3

#blogpost    

the old sound reminds me a lot of The Kooks.

Ooh I found a live. I love the bass on this.

#blogpost    #arctic monkeys    

week 3

On week three’s lecture videos! 

It’s interesting to distinguish between types of psycho-stimulants - cocaine vs amphetamines etc- their effects, how they work, how they get into you brain. Their medicinal value, how they get you high and give you euphoria. 

DIDJA KNOW nicotine increases focus, attention, mood and reaction time? Haha It also increase memory, motor and comprehension ability. All is well but it’s hella toxic and addictive, of course.

Something the lecturer talks a lot about is addiction and dependence. Dependence is when you have withdrawal symptoms when you try to stop something. You’ll feel really really bad and may increase dosage. All in all it’s a vicious cycle.

Another article was discussing how being love release chemicals that makes you happy. They talked about all the neurotransmitters and addiction and I’m just like.. sure anot… Hahaha. 

p.s. don’t you think ‘euphoria’ is such an exciting word? Sounds more layered than simply, ‘high’. In contrast, there’s such a thing called ‘dysphoria’. 

Dysphoria (from Greek: δύσφορος (dysphoros), from δυσ-, difficult, and φέρειν, to bear) is a state of feeling unwell or unhappy; a feeling of emotional and mental discomfort as a symptom of discontentment, restlessness,dissatisfaction, malaisedepressionanxiety or indifference. (Wikipedia)

p.p.s. I don’t remember where I learnt ‘turn of phrase’, but I love it. Sometime ago I did some quiz and they say I really like languages and words. Yes I do. I like to turn them over and over- maybe that’s why I like French. My current favourite words. among others, are 'radio silence'

 I just want to be with you, right here with you, just like this

Enjoy your Sunday :)

#blogpost    

Reading with a backdrop of my breakup/depressed songs. My playlist is called ‘sad songs to wallow in’. This shit chokes me up. I love the emotion and pain they convey. Clearly, I indulge in myself.

It’s nice to get in touch with the feels though.

Hope, hope there’s a conversation
We both admit we had it good
But until then it’s alienation, I know
That much is understood
And I realize

If you ask me how I’m doing
I would say I’m doing just fine
I would lie and say that you’re not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I’m forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I’m not over you, not over you

#blogpost    

dreams

Dreamt of going to the same mall for the THIRD TIME already, always going there with my family. Different scenarios and all but I’m sure it’s the same place. Today we were ordering Japanese mochi snack thingies. Haha.

I’m just glad I’m dreaming again.

#blogpost    

dakara だから

好い友達だ。

Yoz. So good to have Wenx back hahaha some things don’t change. We got hit and tickled hahaha. I also had ban mian yay! But somehow I still think the one at Bedok has the most MSG (and is my favourite. haha).

Also big thanks to all mah anchor friends for listening to my shit and being there for me :> Love love very muchos :) I’m so full of nonsense I don’t even haha.

Most of the graduation flowers have started to droop, but their fragrance still linger. This is my first time receiving a yellow rose too! Haha :) All very pretty. (like me. *chuckles*) (ok you can stop rolling your eyes nao)(hahahaha)

DHD- am glad to have made it- apparently it has made some of my friends happy, even for just a bit :) I was thinking it would be too mundane- especially when I did such bad editing/cuts.  Oh but I really enjoyed the Kesha remix LOL I actually wrote it in JC what the hell even. Nonetheless, thanks for all the kind comments I do appreciate it. It keeps me going to create more things. 

The sad thing is that we were such fools. We were living in such carefree bliss yet we complained so much about studies and the like. Haha ah well. We never knew what we have until we truly lost them, don’t we?

Ending with one of my favourite lines from my current fave song :)

もし、キミがいないなら ここにいる意味もない 

#blogpost    
bakeddd:

blueberry muffins
click here for recipe

Still remember the time when HSM baked me a bb muffin for my birthday ^.^ And also the muffins Huiyi baked and brought to school :)

bakeddd:

blueberry muffins

Still remember the time when HSM baked me a bb muffin for my birthday ^.^ And also the muffins Huiyi baked and brought to school :)

(via izzysfood)

#blogpost    

no

It’s a really bad habit, just running away.

Shelving away everything that mighta be some kinda important, but maybe then again not as much as I think. 

This whole life it seems like we just chase distractions to run away from things. 

I know I always say this, like god please guide the lost. But then again I might be one of those people in the joke where god keeps sending you help and signs but you ignore it and insist on wanting an actual message from god. Yeah. It’s really bad where I can identify all my flaws but make no move to change them. Sighs.

UPDATES! Went for a marketing workshop, getting my resume ready, working on all my projects, tying up all the loose ends. Though today I skipped training cuz I was feeling lazy haha. But I’ll be back on Monday. I’ve been reading crazily- 45 books now, up from 39! Many more piled on my bedside table.

Thanks for being my anchor. I have so many thoughts that are everywhere- flying in a frenetic pace. Thanks for pulling me back onto the ground- thank you friends for knowing always the right things to say when I do helluva stupid things. :/ 

I think in the end, I’m just scared. Still a coward. /shrugs Maybe I’ll get over it but chances are I may stay here forever.

Who needs true happiness when you have comfortable familiarity, right? 

(I kid. I will try my best to be more courageous.)

/edit

other jumbled thoughts

  • He thinks I’m a bimbo. Okay
  • I really like this song
  • I want to drink some Coke!! :D
#blogpost    

SPYAIR- No Where, Now here

This is my latest favourite find from the album. I have since looped it 50 times and going strong. I like their stuff because it’s so powerful yet vulnerable at the same time.

(79 plays) #spyair    #japan    #rock    #music    #blogpost    

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