In 1938, Albert Hofmann synthesized LSD in his lab. He ingested a minute quantity of it accidentally-and experienced:

“a stream of fantastic images of extraordinary plasticity and vividness, accompanied by an intense, kaleidoscopic like play of colors”

“the feeling of timelessness, depersonalisation, a loss of control”

Isn’t it amazing that just by ingesting substances you can open up such huge, intense and wondrous parts of the human brain and imagination? I think we don’t even dream use our imagination any more. Senses dulled by routine and stress. 

Disclaimer: there are non-ingestable drugs you can get high on though guyz. Try this

/edit

Brave New World author Aldous Huxley took mescaline: 

“being normal is learning to shut out or eliminate most of the distracting , overwhleming, disturbing, confusing stimuli that explode all around us. Psychedelic drugs wash away the many years of rigid socialisation and programming we have learned to ignore. Drugs can bring about a kind of transcendence, much like religion”

I suppose taking drugs could mean that we were reverted to a state before socialisation then- a chance to wipe the slate clean just for a little.  And if being normal is to shut out the stimuli, would it mean that being special was to interact and respond to all this stimuli, and maybe create things like artists do?

“a visionary voyage”

/more notes (I am doing a Sociology reading)

LSD ingestion often caused ‘nightmarish’ effects, ’ terror, indescribable fear’… the drug has a ‘freaking out’ aspect

Non swimmers think they swim, people think they can fly. A young man tried to stop a car, and was killed. A college student committed suicide by slashing his arm and bled to death in a field of lilies…

“psychic terror, uncontrollable impulses, violence, unconcern of own safety, psychotic episodes, delusions, hallucinations…”

• you feel like you are entitled to everything
• and everybody owes you a living
• (because only you matter)
• you insist on things your way, and only your way

dear person you are treading a fine line now

Had a couple of crazy weeks! Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed or confused (accidentally missed a makeup tutorial due to over-blurness) and stuff. Life at CAPT is awesome and fun but sadly I guess all good things end somehow. Applied for bursaries, scholarships, and everything that can help me extend my stay, It’d be great if it works out but haha I’m not very optimistic what with me being a senior and all. But I do and will treasure my time here, meeting amazing people every day.

Selling supper= I get to meet people from other college… and it’s always nice to have regulars! Turns out this is a business idea (that worked) and I think it’s really cool to meet people who take initiative and DO things. Have met some people like that in the faculty as well as CAPT. I love go-getters.

Am also blessed to have a chance to perform with guitarpella peeps, amd super glad to have Sarah and Claudia sing Truly Madly Deeply for Formal Dinner (and of course Esmond Cheri and Darren for the instruments). Had a stress attack tuesday night and it was not pretty. Hahaha. Thanks guys for bearing with my angst haha. And also for all the support I really appreciated (and needed) it. Formal Dinner was kinda sad in some sense cos it marks and reminds me of the end of this entire time at CAPT. I guess it would really be awesome to have more time with everyone here.

Hung out with the boys over lunch, lol tried really hard not to be a bad influence by shutting up :P Been a while since we’ve hung out!! Thanks for being in my life guyz. I suck at pool but kay.

Had Audz and Jo over for a sleepover, hahah familiar friends are awesome cuz you can talk about anything freely hahaha. Thanks for coming over girls <3 Sorry for not being to spend enough time with you two!!

Busy with projects and assignments and readings! Need to consolidate before recess week things asap before I die tragically during study week.

Bye guys I love you <3

This is a training post!

Attendance for girls was kinda meh lol. Me, Cass, Zesa, Joyce, Kim, Maria. Thanks Zesa for the apple! It was surprisingly sweet!! :D My waterbottle bankai again and I had to tip my bag over to rid it of water againnnn.

Did throwing, batting, long hits, fence, pitch batting + fungo. Spazzed a bit with Maria with this silly handbag ball. LOL. And take care Cass plz. Haha tried out 2nd base for fun and ohmaiigod infield is intense. Kept trying to sneak back to Right Field but Paul was like if don’t learn now then when? Which I will give the okay face and go back to 2b. Thanks Sebaz for helping me out!! Super noobster for infield. LOL sw said I was ridiculous.  (cos I covered 1b and caught ball with right hand) lol -_-“

Went for a voluntary round around the field, haha next time will try to push it for two! But I know my speed is increasing a little. Jiayou mezzzz.

Corrected batting thanks to Slau/Sengwei’s bat against fence thing and also Joyce and Zesa’s help! Will try my best.

Thanks everybody on my softball journey, you guys are <3

Won’t be around for AGM next week but can’t wait to train again :)

So I wanted to blog about this before I forget about all the amazing people we’ve met tonight.

Louis and I camped in the awkward lift for close to two hours to serenade all the lift passengers ;)

Basically we’re like Hi!!! We’re gonna sing you a song, you wanna pick one? 

Our song list goes like…

Just The Way You Are
I’m Yours
Can’t Take My Eyes Off You
Bubbly
Starships
Umbrella
You are My Sunshine

haha was actually having cold feet before dinner lol luckily Louis was already zi-highing haha. Once we got started it got easier, cos the responses were so sweet and kind. People were like lol seriously?? but yeah let me just sum up all the happiness here in a list.

• people telling us how great we are!!  (trololz) and how awesome the lift acoustics sound :DD
• the dude who bought us apple juice. seriously the most not expected thing to happen of the day. we were super mega touched. :’)
• the guy who gave us a big hug :))
• the girl who was so happy she jumped in the lift hahaha :)
• groups who sang and jammed with us <3 god that was really fun. travelling as a whole entity !!! just wow what an experience <3
• little children smiling :))
• people who reallyyy sang along!!! <3
• people who skip their floors and just hang out with us to hear us sing god <3
• people who video/photograph us HAHA thanks guyz :)
• Louis’ fangirls who took photos with him LOL
• people who were really sincere and everything.
• the awkward moment when you sing for your lecturers/fellows. haha glad they had fun though :))
• finding out how lifts work. fun fact: awkward lift rests on the 5th floor. LOL
• the people who we kept meeting in the lift.HAHA you heard every song!!! thanks for listening :)
• THE PEOPLE WHO WAIT FOR THE AWKWARD LIFT just for us so sweet haha <3
• and to all dear friends who lent support in any way <3

(Pics from Yi-Min & Justin! Thanks :P )

Yup. THANKS FOR THE GREAT TIME GUYZ <3

We’d be back!! 

Having a lot of fun in CAPT.
Watched a lot of talented people perform for Open Mic!! All this talent in one place @_@ Was glad to be there :) Well done Joshua & Junhao for your perfs! And Cheri for awesome hosting. Enjoyed the rest too! Was cool to watched Timothy’s perf of electronic music especially when he just presented about it for class just an hour before. Also woots to Esmond for doing sound lol that must kinda suck T_T

Went to prep with Louis for something special this evening. Hehehe be prepared guyz.. hahaha.

Went for Black Neighbourhood supper!! It was really fun! Loved the food and ice cream (I had two cones D:) and it was fun watching people dance kinect :)) Also good to see everyone :))

Then went to prac with guitarpella peeps for Formal Dinner! Later it evolved into a random jamming session till 3am. Thanks Darren for teaching me percussion muahaha I am pleased that I learned the drumline for PPG HAHA :D Hhaha hello night owls Cheri Joshua Darren!

Have been studying quite a bit as well, thanks to new study/supper buddies Joshua Tzuying Yi-min omg. Eating eggtarts and drinking chocolate milk from the carton. (I went to steal straws. lol) LOL had a mini fangirl session with Ty and Claudia LOL I have not fangirled in AGES D: It was kinda liberating. LOL hello Ron Ng.

Also every meal time is great when you have nice company from the ‘hood~! Had laksa and steak hahahahah. A shout out to Dori, Stella, Sherilyn, Chenchuan, Dayan,Junyan,Kai Lin, Bryan,Sarah, Mei Yin, Cheng Xi, Joyce!

Haven’t blogged about the lifts lol: say yay to randomness! Had a lot of fun making the awkward lift, the confessions lift and the bubblewrap lift with Stella, Matt, Grace, Elvis, Sarah, Linghong, Sean! :))  Was the most touching thing to see people liking /interacting with all the stuff. Won’t forget all the people playing with the bubble wrap and also taboo at 3am ;) Funniest thing now is people saying hi to me (when Im really not sure if I know who they are…) But that’s the whole point :)

Also had a great (and memorable, lol) night out with Yilin, Jen, Joyce, Alan, Lydia and Joleena! :) Been selling supper with Ryan, Jessica and Alex as well! Haha turns out this is just a random thing they started. Enterprising siol. (Y)

Open Day was fun too! Glad to be part of CAPT.

Let me say my thanks and CHEERS TO A GREAT SEMESTER I’d make the best of what I have.

Was intending to have like a month long hiatus but haha I’m back in only five damn days!

Been helluva week really and I really wanna thank everybody who has been in my life! Old friends that I can talk to anytime, new friends that I have met in CAPT. (Alice Peter and Tan College, lolz)

Well I’d just say I love you much and HAVE A GREAT WEEK GUYZ ;)

this is a really good time for me to take a break from everything. 

been having issues trying to focus.

you’ve seen this coming:

HIATUS

have a lot of unfinished posts- can’t seem to bring myself to finish or post them. Feelings and thoughts are all over the place. Not sure what I want. Or if nowadays I even want anything at all. Feel extremely happy for simple things like finding my bubble solution and the tactile feeling of grass and night wind,  but am underwhelmed and unsatisfied by movies or episodes or a bowl of banmian or things that I have been looking forward to. 

How does one forget oneself when one writes? To stop being self-conscious and just put pen to paper.

Been staring at that looping gif of Lake Victoria. I can feel the sand and sea  under my feet. 

Also, am bored to tears. Have tons of things to do or can do but am just so sian. Lethargic. My mind is just floating somewhere else. 

/edit

saw myself wavering like a stupid seagrass but forced myself to be rational cos I know things won’t work out. Thanks for reminding me that I would have to eat grass for the next few years if this shit went down. Yeah.

Have not been eating out much this year… so here’s a shout out to ALL THE THINGS I MISS GOD I LOVE WEEKENDS COS I CAN EAT OUT OR SOMETHING

• THE corn muffin.
• PP Laksa that has closed down :’(
• PRATA AND CURRY
• Ramen thank you very much
• All you can eat BBQ !!!
• Burger King
• Ban Mian, lol
• Mee Hoon Kuey!!!
• Boat Takopachi
• Fried Chicken Cutlet
• PIZZA.
• PIZZA
• PIZZA
• PIZZAAAAAAAAAAA
• drumlets
• Carls Junior Burger + Chilli Fries
• anything HOT!!!!
• Hokkien Mee
• Boiled Eggs -_-

Just some random things I picked up when I was studying for it.

Gatsby: likes the idea of Daisy, and not Daisy herself. When he has her it all crumbles. The fun is all in the chase guyz. What comes after is a whole new world that is so difficult to grasp and continue. Takes so much effort-is it even worth it?

Daisy just likes the attention that Gatsby gives her. To feel so adored by someone is a powerful and nice feeling of course. But can you really live with guilt of stringing someone along when you don’t even bother and will not plan on loving back? 

Gatsby is the most vulnerable when it comes to Daisy. This flashy, ostentatious and ambitious no-can-do man crumbles to pieces when he’s with Daisy. Is this what it is like to drop all your defences and let your guard down? 

Nick. The most honest man ever who falls in love, or fosters ‘tender curiosity’ with Jordan Baker, the incurably dishonest lady who cheats her way through life. Lies hurt. Because when you lie about a small, trivial thing, doesn’t it just hint at the idea that you could be lying about anything and everything else? What do your words even mean anymore? Bitch it only means that you’re never gonna let down your defenses and you’re just hiding, protecting some part of yourself. And hurting someone else. Well fk you I hope you enjoyed that. 

Was just listening to Unfaithful by Rihanna this morning (and some of her other songs, ahha I think I might actually be a fan just that I don’t know it.) I’d just leave you guys with the video link here, so enjoy :)

Today was rather shitty to be really honest. Was stressed cos I was mostly unprepared for my literature midterm. Was angsty all the way from morning to during training at 6-7pm -_-“. Printed extra shit at the library. Fell asleep a little during deviance lecture but it’s ok! Was late for my midterm at utown, rushing from arts to there is just not cool lah. :( What a horrible day.

Then I didn’t finish my paper!! Argh!! What rubbish short answer questions are these?!?!! I rather write an essay than answer like “short” answer questions that are like 8 marks each. Dude. No. Just no. Luckily we lit kids shared the load and split up research (it was open book). And luckily the poems were quite straightforward. And damn heng haha read enough for Gatsby to at least answer?!?! Pen ink ran out halfway :(((

Saw something I rather not seen. But seriously bitch please I don’t need your validation. You proved all my gut predictions right. Went for training! Was so frowny and angry at the world :( Being angry is really tiring though lol. Training- I shall keep a log to see if I improved, like how coach says! Coach came down today. Attendance was great today! Really really nice to see people coming down :) Hello to Sixian,  Suyee, Lien, Eriks, and also Sarah Jane!!!  Trained drills also with coach, haha my main problem is 

1. Focus: everyone is scolding me for not looking at them when I throw. Oops.

2. Fielding . Idk dafuq I’m doing.

Angela came when we were packing up and we carried out our new weekly throwing plan :)) Part 2 training for me. Going to run next time also haha :)) Really nice to have her come down for training again!! Long time no see :P 

So. Batting on tee stand is still meh. Throwing I’m going to work harder on steps and shit. But basically after training with Li En about the hip thing I can finally throw further whoopee. No control/accuracy yet but fuqqq la lol time to celebrate haha. SJ says this is like a period of stand still. Hope to challenge myself and up game before the next league. Throwing with Angela = it’s obviously my fielding is fulllllll of loopholes. Working on reaction and explosive power today, helps that I had so much fire in me today haha. Should just go to training angsty maybe.

Walked back to utown and went to sell supper at Cinnamon!! Thanks to Dorisa and Stella for the heads up :)) Met new people from the colleges, Jessica and Alex! Went to Raffles Hall for the first time and collected food. Came back to sell chicken naan ($3.50) and cheese fries ($3) and lol everything sold out in 5 minutes. Damn kuazhang lolz. Got paid :))

Ended the day on a better note I guess :)

Gonna wrap up some stuff and get some rest!! The week is winding down for me and I’m glad for that.

Love and peace out guyz :)

Whoopee! Had busy days this week. Monday: went for an experiment at Science! Science people are generally.. clueless about this Centre of Life Science. Not very helpful ah.. still like my arts kids more. Had some very interesting moral dilemmas and stuff. Kinda fun lol. Earned $10! And sadly spent $12 on printing Urban notes lol ohwell D:

Had dinz with Cass and Anna! The three of them got their hair cut hahaha so cute!! Then we headed to the dialogue at Edusports and came out super angsty HAHA. Seriously…? But photos of the Summit brought back nice memories! Nice to see my team mates (Claudia, Laura, Boon, Adhir, XueKai, Paul) ! Always about the same people attending all the sports stuff lol. I guess I’m thankful that I met new people through this camp? :D  Some sports officers also quite familiar looking. Also saw my soci mates!! Haha small world. Checked out the utown pool! Cool stuff but two lifeguards for this puny 1.2m pool? Really? And in such a small place you can’t even play in peace :’(

Cass stayed over :) Thanks for the lovely Royce chocolate nutty bar seriously this. stuff. is. awesome. And other food too :)) 

Woke early to have breakfast and chionged work!!! Interviewed Zhenyang for my project and spent the morning with him and Mingle! It was a pleasant start to the day haha :) Met a lot of random people and it made me happy haha :)) Class: lol was shocked when my angmoh prof can pronounce my name!! They usually call me TH. Haha. Kinda weird when they suddenly switch! Kinda heartwarming also I would say. 

Came up with very silly vision statements. I have to say the ‘make a dent in the universe’ one is really memorable!! 

Gonna read more books :)) Prof Greg mentioned a couple of books and I got a copy of one from Rishab! Can’t wait to read :)

LOL and another belated post here: 
Seets stayed over at Linghong’s last week and I got to meet them for a little!! Really nice seeing you after so long Seeting!! Watched some really cool NTU Hall dances!! It’s like woah. 

Went to Bugis with Yilin to meet some of the elevens! A freaking longgggggg time coming man this meeting LOL. From last year!! Dude!

Thank you lovelies for a nice afternoon :))

Also had a 5hour guitarpella session it.was.insane. I was so tired lol and because I cannot sing from diaphragm yet I got dizzy and kinda collapsed into a kneeling heap LOL -_-“. But yeah! Like I said, I like my group haha. And Esmond’s guitar can be plugged in to the amps so shit was awesome seriously. Learnt bar chords and also gonna try reading tabs soon. Improving a lot I MUST SAY?!?!

Popped over to J’s for toffee apple cider and jamming session :)) Nice spending time with you! Jenny is finally coming out ehhhhh. Her mum said I lost weight HOHOHOHO. Miss you loads <3

Also good having dinners with my family! Miss them as well.

Alright I’d stop here haha :)