Was intending to have like a month long hiatus but haha I’m back in only five damn days!
Been helluva week really and I really wanna thank everybody who has been in my life! Old friends that I can talk to anytime, new friends that I have met in CAPT. (Alice Peter and Tan College, lolz)
Well I’d just say I love you much and HAVE A GREAT WEEK GUYZ ;)
this is a really good time for me to take a break from everything.
been having issues trying to focus.
you’ve seen this coming:
HIATUS
have a lot of unfinished posts- can’t seem to bring myself to finish or post them. Feelings and thoughts are all over the place. Not sure what I want. Or if nowadays I even want anything at all. Feel extremely happy for simple things like finding my bubble solution and the tactile feeling of grass and night wind, but am underwhelmed and unsatisfied by movies or episodes or a bowl of banmian or things that I have been looking forward to.
How does one forget oneself when one writes? To stop being self-conscious and just put pen to paper.
Been staring at that looping gif of Lake Victoria. I can feel the sand and sea under my feet.
Also, am bored to tears. Have tons of things to do or can do but am just so sian. Lethargic. My mind is just floating somewhere else.
/edit
saw myself wavering like a stupid seagrass but forced myself to be rational cos I know things won’t work out. Thanks for reminding me that I would have to eat grass for the next few years if this shit went down. Yeah.
Have not been eating out much this year… so here’s a shout out to ALL THE THINGS I MISS GOD I LOVE WEEKENDS COS I CAN EAT OUT OR SOMETHING
Just some random things I picked up when I was studying for it.
Gatsby: likes the idea of Daisy, and not Daisy herself. When he has her it all crumbles. The fun is all in the chase guyz. What comes after is a whole new world that is so difficult to grasp and continue. Takes so much effort-is it even worth it?
Daisy just likes the attention that Gatsby gives her. To feel so adored by someone is a powerful and nice feeling of course. But can you really live with guilt of stringing someone along when you don’t even bother and will not plan on loving back?
Gatsby is the most vulnerable when it comes to Daisy. This flashy, ostentatious and ambitious no-can-do man crumbles to pieces when he’s with Daisy. Is this what it is like to drop all your defences and let your guard down?
Nick. The most honest man ever who falls in love, or fosters ‘tender curiosity’ with Jordan Baker, the incurably dishonest lady who cheats her way through life. Lies hurt. Because when you lie about a small, trivial thing, doesn’t it just hint at the idea that you could be lying about anything and everything else? What do your words even mean anymore? Bitch it only means that you’re never gonna let down your defenses and you’re just hiding, protecting some part of yourself. And hurting someone else. Well fk you I hope you enjoyed that.
Was just listening to Unfaithful by Rihanna this morning (and some of her other songs, ahha I think I might actually be a fan just that I don’t know it.) I’d just leave you guys with the video link here, so enjoy :)
Today was rather shitty to be really honest. Was stressed cos I was mostly unprepared for my literature midterm. Was angsty all the way from morning to during training at 6-7pm -_-“. Printed extra shit at the library. Fell asleep a little during deviance lecture but it’s ok! Was late for my midterm at utown, rushing from arts to there is just not cool lah. :( What a horrible day.
Then I didn’t finish my paper!! Argh!! What rubbish short answer questions are these?!?!! I rather write an essay than answer like “short” answer questions that are like 8 marks each. Dude. No. Just no. Luckily we lit kids shared the load and split up research (it was open book). And luckily the poems were quite straightforward. And damn heng haha read enough for Gatsby to at least answer?!?! Pen ink ran out halfway :(((
Saw something I rather not seen. But seriously bitch please I don’t need your validation. You proved all my gut predictions right. Went for training! Was so frowny and angry at the world :( Being angry is really tiring though lol. Training- I shall keep a log to see if I improved, like how coach says! Coach came down today. Attendance was great today! Really really nice to see people coming down :) Hello to Sixian, Suyee, Lien, Eriks, and also Sarah Jane!!! Trained drills also with coach, haha my main problem is
1. Focus: everyone is scolding me for not looking at them when I throw. Oops.
2. Fielding . Idk dafuq I’m doing.
Angela came when we were packing up and we carried out our new weekly throwing plan :)) Part 2 training for me. Going to run next time also haha :)) Really nice to have her come down for training again!! Long time no see :P
So. Batting on tee stand is still meh. Throwing I’m going to work harder on steps and shit. But basically after training with Li En about the hip thing I can finally throw further whoopee. No control/accuracy yet but fuqqq la lol time to celebrate haha. SJ says this is like a period of stand still. Hope to challenge myself and up game before the next league. Throwing with Angela = it’s obviously my fielding is fulllllll of loopholes. Working on reaction and explosive power today, helps that I had so much fire in me today haha. Should just go to training angsty maybe.
Walked back to utown and went to sell supper at Cinnamon!! Thanks to Dorisa and Stella for the heads up :)) Met new people from the colleges, Jessica and Alex! Went to Raffles Hall for the first time and collected food. Came back to sell chicken naan ($3.50) and cheese fries ($3) and lol everything sold out in 5 minutes. Damn kuazhang lolz. Got paid :))
Ended the day on a better note I guess :)
Gonna wrap up some stuff and get some rest!! The week is winding down for me and I’m glad for that.
Love and peace out guyz :)
Whoopee! Had busy days this week. Monday: went for an experiment at Science! Science people are generally.. clueless about this Centre of Life Science. Not very helpful ah.. still like my arts kids more. Had some very interesting moral dilemmas and stuff. Kinda fun lol. Earned $10! And sadly spent $12 on printing Urban notes lol ohwell D:
Had dinz with Cass and Anna! The three of them got their hair cut hahaha so cute!! Then we headed to the dialogue at Edusports and came out super angsty HAHA. Seriously…? But photos of the Summit brought back nice memories! Nice to see my team mates (Claudia, Laura, Boon, Adhir, XueKai, Paul) ! Always about the same people attending all the sports stuff lol. I guess I’m thankful that I met new people through this camp? :D Some sports officers also quite familiar looking. Also saw my soci mates!! Haha small world. Checked out the utown pool! Cool stuff but two lifeguards for this puny 1.2m pool? Really? And in such a small place you can’t even play in peace :’(
Cass stayed over :) Thanks for the lovely Royce chocolate nutty bar seriously this. stuff. is. awesome. And other food too :))
Woke early to have breakfast and chionged work!!! Interviewed Zhenyang for my project and spent the morning with him and Mingle! It was a pleasant start to the day haha :) Met a lot of random people and it made me happy haha :)) Class: lol was shocked when my angmoh prof can pronounce my name!! They usually call me TH. Haha. Kinda weird when they suddenly switch! Kinda heartwarming also I would say.
Came up with very silly vision statements. I have to say the ‘make a dent in the universe’ one is really memorable!!
Gonna read more books :)) Prof Greg mentioned a couple of books and I got a copy of one from Rishab! Can’t wait to read :)
LOL and another belated post here:
Seets stayed over at Linghong’s last week and I got to meet them for a little!! Really nice seeing you after so long Seeting!! Watched some really cool NTU Hall dances!! It’s like woah.
Went to Bugis with Yilin to meet some of the elevens! A freaking longgggggg time coming man this meeting LOL. From last year!! Dude!
Thank you lovelies for a nice afternoon :))
Also had a 5hour guitarpella session it.was.insane. I was so tired lol and because I cannot sing from diaphragm yet I got dizzy and kinda collapsed into a kneeling heap LOL -_-“. But yeah! Like I said, I like my group haha. And Esmond’s guitar can be plugged in to the amps so shit was awesome seriously. Learnt bar chords and also gonna try reading tabs soon. Improving a lot I MUST SAY?!?!
Popped over to J’s for toffee apple cider and jamming session :)) Nice spending time with you! Jenny is finally coming out ehhhhh. Her mum said I lost weight HOHOHOHO. Miss you loads <3
Also good having dinners with my family! Miss them as well.
Alright I’d stop here haha :)
don’t wanna give in so we both gave up
don’t wanna fall asleep
cos I still miss you babe
and I don’t wanna miss a thing
This is called beautiful happy!! Such a lovely smile.
And when you kiss me, I know you miss me
And when you’re with me, the world just goes away
Shania Twain: When You Kiss Me
I am flawed
I am flawed
I am flawed
and I really need you to believe it
Because if you don’t we’d have a serious problem here
I’m not what you think I am
More a sinner than a saint
no time to sleep!
NO REST FOR THE RESTLESS
let’s roll
a casual lack of concern, indifference
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