three times tingles

week 3

On week three’s lecture videos! 

It’s interesting to distinguish between types of psycho-stimulants - cocaine vs amphetamines etc- their effects, how they work, how they get into you brain. Their medicinal value, how they get you high and give you euphoria. 

DIDJA KNOW nicotine increases focus, attention, mood and reaction time? Haha It also increase memory, motor and comprehension ability. All is well but it’s hella toxic and addictive, of course.

Something the lecturer talks a lot about is addiction and dependence. Dependence is when you have withdrawal symptoms when you try to stop something. You’ll feel really really bad and may increase dosage. All in all it’s a vicious cycle.

Another article was discussing how being love release chemicals that makes you happy. They talked about all the neurotransmitters and addiction and I’m just like.. sure anot… Hahaha. 

p.s. don’t you think ‘euphoria’ is such an exciting word? Sounds more layered than simply, ‘high’. In contrast, there’s such a thing called ‘dysphoria’. 

Dysphoria (from Greek: δύσφορος (dysphoros), from δυσ-, difficult, and φέρειν, to bear) is a state of feeling unwell or unhappy; a feeling of emotional and mental discomfort as a symptom of discontentment, restlessness,dissatisfaction, malaisedepressionanxiety or indifference. (Wikipedia)

p.p.s. I don’t remember where I learnt ‘turn of phrase’, but I love it. Sometime ago I did some quiz and they say I really like languages and words. Yes I do. I like to turn them over and over- maybe that’s why I like French. My current favourite words. among others, are 'radio silence'

 I just want to be with you, right here with you, just like this

Enjoy your Sunday :)

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Reading with a backdrop of my breakup/depressed songs. My playlist is called ‘sad songs to wallow in’. This shit chokes me up. I love the emotion and pain they convey. Clearly, I indulge in myself.

It’s nice to get in touch with the feels though.

Hope, hope there’s a conversation
We both admit we had it good
But until then it’s alienation, I know
That much is understood
And I realize

If you ask me how I’m doing
I would say I’m doing just fine
I would lie and say that you’re not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I’m forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I’m not over you, not over you

#blogpost    

dreams

Dreamt of going to the same mall for the THIRD TIME already, always going there with my family. Different scenarios and all but I’m sure it’s the same place. Today we were ordering Japanese mochi snack thingies. Haha.

I’m just glad I’m dreaming again.

#blogpost    

dakara だから

好い友達だ。

Yoz. So good to have Wenx back hahaha some things don’t change. We got hit and tickled hahaha. I also had ban mian yay! But somehow I still think the one at Bedok has the most MSG (and is my favourite. haha).

Also big thanks to all mah anchor friends for listening to my shit and being there for me :> Love love very muchos :) I’m so full of nonsense I don’t even haha.

Most of the graduation flowers have started to droop, but their fragrance still linger. This is my first time receiving a yellow rose too! Haha :) All very pretty. (like me. *chuckles*) (ok you can stop rolling your eyes nao)(hahahaha)

DHD- am glad to have made it- apparently it has made some of my friends happy, even for just a bit :) I was thinking it would be too mundane- especially when I did such bad editing/cuts.  Oh but I really enjoyed the Kesha remix LOL I actually wrote it in JC what the hell even. Nonetheless, thanks for all the kind comments I do appreciate it. It keeps me going to create more things. 

The sad thing is that we were such fools. We were living in such carefree bliss yet we complained so much about studies and the like. Haha ah well. We never knew what we have until we truly lost them, don’t we?

Ending with one of my favourite lines from my current fave song :)

もし、キミがいないなら ここにいる意味もない 

#blogpost    
bakeddd:

blueberry muffins
click here for recipe

Still remember the time when HSM baked me a bb muffin for my birthday ^.^ And also the muffins Huiyi baked and brought to school :)

bakeddd:

blueberry muffins

Still remember the time when HSM baked me a bb muffin for my birthday ^.^ And also the muffins Huiyi baked and brought to school :)

(via izzysfood)

#blogpost    

no

It’s a really bad habit, just running away.

Shelving away everything that mighta be some kinda important, but maybe then again not as much as I think. 

This whole life it seems like we just chase distractions to run away from things. 

I know I always say this, like god please guide the lost. But then again I might be one of those people in the joke where god keeps sending you help and signs but you ignore it and insist on wanting an actual message from god. Yeah. It’s really bad where I can identify all my flaws but make no move to change them. Sighs.

UPDATES! Went for a marketing workshop, getting my resume ready, working on all my projects, tying up all the loose ends. Though today I skipped training cuz I was feeling lazy haha. But I’ll be back on Monday. I’ve been reading crazily- 45 books now, up from 39! Many more piled on my bedside table.

Thanks for being my anchor. I have so many thoughts that are everywhere- flying in a frenetic pace. Thanks for pulling me back onto the ground- thank you friends for knowing always the right things to say when I do helluva stupid things. :/ 

I think in the end, I’m just scared. Still a coward. /shrugs Maybe I’ll get over it but chances are I may stay here forever.

Who needs true happiness when you have comfortable familiarity, right? 

(I kid. I will try my best to be more courageous.)

/edit

other jumbled thoughts

  • He thinks I’m a bimbo. Okay
  • I really like this song
  • I want to drink some Coke!! :D
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SPYAIR- No Where, Now here

This is my latest favourite find from the album. I have since looped it 50 times and going strong. I like their stuff because it’s so powerful yet vulnerable at the same time.

(95 plays) #spyair    #japan    #rock    #music    #blogpost    

So I finally finished this video. From 2010 footage. It was an ambitious project with not enough meat but lots of daydreams. LOL SO JUST ENJOY IT! Even if you’re not part of my secondary/JC school life just watch the first minute and enjoy the remix (which I am very proud of and amused by)

Sorry to the rest lol go spot yourself in the 30 minutes (I got lazy editing after the 1 hour Beauty World video edits).

LOVE XX

#blogpost    #video    #dhs    

in bad faith

The 20th century French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre called it mauvaise foi (‘bad faith’), the habit that people have of deceiving themselves into thinking that they do not have the freedom to make choices for fear of the potential consequences of making a choice.

By sticking with the safe, easy, default ‘choice’ and failing to recognise the multitude of other choices that are available to him, a person places himself at the mercy of the circumstances in which he happens to find himself. Thus, the person is more akin to an object than to a conscious human being, or, in Sartrean terminology, more akin to a ‘being-in-itself’ than to a ‘being-for-itself’.

People may pretend to themselves that they do not have the freedom to make choices by pursuing pragmatic concerns and adopting social roles and value systems that are alien to their nature as conscious human beings. However, to do so is in itself to make a choice, and thereby to acknowledge their freedom as conscious human beings. (via)

Doing some inauthentic stuff by saying words that don’t match the heart but sometimes, what to do. This is why we can’t have nice things.

#blogpost    
Sashimi Chiraishi & Nigiri

Sashimi Chiraishi & Nigiri

#japan    #food    #blogpost    #foodadventures    #sashimi    #nigiri    #sushi    
Banana Dessert Pizza with Hazelnut Gelato (Pastamania)

Banana Dessert Pizza with Hazelnut Gelato (Pastamania)

#blogpost    #foodadventures    #food    #banana    #dessert    #hazelnut    #gelato    

毕业 lo!

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The chaos that was me:

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I’m a total mofo sucker for flowers so THANK YOU FRIENDS :) Honestly was just expecting a few stalks, I think this is the first time I received so many flowers!! And actual bouquets!! *touched* Fking pretty but aiyah fuq must rip open the packaging very sad :’( BUT . BUT BUT SO PRETTY

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Commencement went by really quickly. Had insomnia and slept at 4am. Got up early to pick up my flowers & go for Linghong, Abby & Cass’ ceremony :) Met many people and took many photos!!

Had lunch & fun company with Oli, Yangyi & Clarence! Haha my Macs cravings. Was expecting to be bored during the ceremony, but it was more than tolerably okay! Haha :) Turned around and found Lydia behind me hahaha! Found out many coursemates and seniors were graduating as well. Clapped for you all :) Was weak-kneed when it finally came to my turn zomg haha. Thanks to the people who specially came by though my ceremony is at such an awkward timing :) Much loves xx

By the time it was Dori’s turn I was damn tired already and ended up on the floor. Yup.

Passing out

But first, check out my dinner:

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Damn shiok leh LOL.

The night was spent with the hulkies!! Hahaha was fun watching Dori on stage, jumpshots hahaha and meeting other graduates like Mike :)

Congratulations everybody :) <3

Loves and I should really get some sleep

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Hi. Have been unable to sleep properly these few days- where were the days where I could sleep easily at will? And this, even when I thought I’m over my anxiety. Something must be bugging me then. Maybe restlessness.

Life has been- a flurry of events. Without rigidity and fixed schedules I am free to fill my life with whatever I want. A blessing and a curse. Quoting from Silver Spoon (FMA’S author’s other series)- judge a man by how he spends his money. Or in my case, how I spend my time.

So what have I been doing really:

Mostly I have been reading, reading, reading. Fiction, non-fiction. Self-help, chick lit. Secrets of Marketing. Business tips. 

I think my exercise is finally paying off a little bit. Managed to get through half of training and be able to talk and not pant so hard as compared to the first day I went back.

Went to San’s commencement today, will post with photos tomorrow! Right now… I don’t really know what to do with myself. I think I’m really losing my appetite or something, I’m eating little like one small meal a day. 

Hopefully by blogging this I can reverse the cycle, maybe I’m just not interested… in food anymore. (Yeah who kidnapped me right)

I think this just signals that I’m changing. More drastically and quickly than I would like. Not in control, not really. :/

/edit

Heehee HAPPY GRADUATION FRIENDS <3

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dream big :)

  • outdoors gig
  • night
  • fireworks
  • merchandise
  • lightsticks
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:)

Working on a couple of projects- work, play & learn! I’ll update as they inch towards completion, in case I shoot myself in the foot. All I want to tell you now is that they’re very exciting! 

Am on my second week of my second Coursera course- this time I’m doing a seven week program on Drugs /The Addicted Brain. Read the forum and many people take the course to complement their psychology course, or are friends of Bill (AA members, never knew they were referenced in such a way). There are also the oddballs like me who’s just interested. So far, the lecturer makes things easy to understand, and I always wanted to learn more science! Lament the fact that I studied physics instead of biology but I’ll make up for it :) Plus bio would have meant all those chemical names which I’m really bad at- can’t even balance equations properly. Used to dislike science in a sense but now I appreciate its analytical methods ie. methodical sequences in lab etc. Everything is very logical and quite calm, as compared to the constant ambiguity of humanities/social sciences.

So far I have learnt about different drugs, how they work in the body, how they are transmitted etc. How the brain and neurotransmitters work.

Am graduating next week, am kinda distressed that I have to put my family through 2.5 hrs of waiting in the hall just to clap for maybe 10 seconds while I’m on stage. Ohwell. Haha.

#blogpost    

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